Oct 1, 2020
7 Years Ago I Was Arrested by the FBI: Here are 5 Lessons I Learned
I just had an anniversary of sorts. On October 1st, 2013, I was arrested by the FBI.
It started in 2012 when I made a choice. I chose to exploit the warranty policy of one of the largest technology companies in the world for my financial gain.
I knew what I was doing was wrong. I knew it the moment I hit the “Enter” key on my laptop. The voice inside begged to be heard, and I ignored it. I continued this way for just under a year until the FBI knocked on my door.
I was eventually sentenced to 2 years of Federal Prison, 3 years of Supervised Release, and ordered to pay $834,307.00 in restitution.
I lost my wife, my homes, cars, career, and my identity. I was suicidal. I wanted nothing more than to die.
A well-timed visit from my best friend, followed by a visit from my Mom and Aunt, turned it all around.
I hit my absolute rock bottom, and I have spent the past several years rebuilding and reinventing myself and loving the process.
These are some of the lessons I learned along the way:
Everything is Temporary: When I was in prison, it felt like I would be there forever. That my permanent state of being was uncertainty and pain. I felt as though I would be worthless for the remainder of my life. Once I looked beyond the fear and anxiety, I understood there was an expiration date. I didn’t know when, but I knew there was one. That alone gave me the strength to endure. This is the power of embracing impermanence.
Our Perspective Dictates our Reality: Is this happening to you? Is this happening for you? One is playing the victim; the other is taking responsibility for your life. The moment I dropped the victim role (which I played for a while), I found freedom — inside prison.
This is our choice.
Choice is Freedom: I found “Man’s Search for Meaning” in the prison library. It’s one of the most profound perspective-shifting books I have ever read. I reread it once a year. This quote is one of many reasons I make that claim.
“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms — to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”
When we embrace choice, we have agency over our lives. When we have agency over our lives — we can rebuild. We increase the number of opportunities and possibilities available to us.
We can start over.
Gratitude is a Superpower: I was sitting in the prison library, with nothing to my name. I lost everything: my amazing wife, my career, my money, my homes, and cars. I lost my identity and self-worth. And yet, one crisp early morning, the sunrise was spectacular. I put pen to paper and wrote, “I’m grateful for this morning’s sunrise.”
I found something to be grateful for in my most challenging time. I cannot express how important that truly is.
Adversity Can Be a Gift: Our greatest adversities do not have to be the end. In fact, they can be our greatest teachers and our greatest beginnings. It’s up to us whether we choose to seek and find the gift, or if we stay in the burnt ashes of what was.
The choice is ours. And, it begins when we embrace the other 4 lessons.
Another thing I’ve learned: It really is about the journey. It’s about who we become on our way through the adversity that matters. The process is the reward.
The destination? We may never even get there, and if we do?
Well, then that’s just icing on the cake.
