Fear and Shame Can’t Breathe the Same Air as Gratitude and Peace

5.9.23

It hit me when I wrote the date in my journal this morning.

I don’t want to say I forgot, but another circumstance directly related to May 9th was at the forefront of my mind, obscuring the beauty of this day.

The other circumstance is one of fear and shame and a remembrance of what was.

But when I wrote the date, when I saw 5.9, a sensation washed over me.

It was a deep and pure sensation of gratitude and peace, and the fear and shame I felt only moments ago vanished.

They vanished because of an immutable truth:

Fear and shame can’t breathe the same air as gratitude and peace.

What makes May 9th special?

May 9th, 2016, is the day I was freed from the Federal Bureau of Prisons.

May 9th, 2019, is the day I was freed from federal supervised release (probation in the federal system).

May 9th is the day my freedom was reborn, and a new chapter began.

The other circumstance that was consuming me is a remnant of my choice to defraud one of the largest tech companies in the world; it’s the restitution still owed.