Federal Prison and Losing Everything Shattered the Illusion of Perfectionism

I was imprisoned by perfectionism since about the age of 6 or 7.

If I didn’t score 100 on every test, I wasn’t good enough or worthy. So began my journey into the prison of perfectionism.

I was lucky; going to federal prison and essentially losing everything destroyed the illusion of perfectionism and taught me about freedom.

The facade I’d worked so hard to fabricate was decimated, and I needed to start from scratch.

I didn’t want to recreate what I’d destroyed, even if the comfort of the known called to me.

I longed to be free, not only from the physical boundaries of prison but from my mental prisons, perfectionism being one of them.

The prison cell of perfectionism was an offshoot of unworthiness, believing I wasn’t enough, and my fear of being seen and heard for who I am.

Honestly, I don’t know how I would have broken free from perfectionism without going to prison.

I don’t know if I would have had the awareness and courage to leave the comfort of the cell.

I know this, though: we don’t need to destroy our lives to break free, nor do I suggest it.