Forgiveness Equals Freedom

Forgiveness equals Freedom.

Forgiveness is hard. It’s one of the hardest things I’ve done as I rebuilt and reinvented my life.

I had to forgive myself for the choices I made that resulted in me being arrested by the FBI and sentenced to 2 years of Federal Prison.

I had to forgive myself for hurting the woman I love. That cost me everything. My marriage, my homes, my cars, my sense of self-worth, and identity.

For planning on killing myself.

I didn’t think I was worthy of forgiveness. Who was I to let myself off the hook with all the damage I had caused?

I punished myself subtly, denying myself simple pleasures, just because I was not worthy of them.

I have a beautiful balcony, huge by NYC standards. For years it went unused. I would look at it through the balcony doors every day. A voice whispering, you don’t deserve to go out there and enjoy it.

I knew I had to forgive myself; I knew to hold onto the past was suffocating me. But I just wasn’t worthy. I didn’t Trust myself.

I couldn’t figure it out intellectually. I was fortunate another voice arrived and saved me.

It asked a simple question,