How to Discover Our Identity Beyond Our Career

Shame led me to plan how I’d take my life.

I’ve covered this topic numerous times in the past decade.

I’ve written about it, spoken on stage about it, and my TEDx goes deep into it.

It’s an important topic that needs to be spoken about.

But there was another layer of pain behind my desire to take my life that I haven’t discussed nearly enough:

The power of identity.

Namely, where do we source our identity, and what happens when the source of our identity vanishes?

Pre-prison, I was a “Senior Enterprise Account Manager.”

I was society’s standard definition of success: a good job, high income, and lots of status stuff.

Society’s standard definition of success was also my identity.

I was my job title, my salary, and on an even deeper level, I was my cars, watches, clothes, and VIP status at Greenwich’s finest restaurants.

I was my ability to lavish my ex-wife with YSL’s and Christian Louboutin’s.

I was the lifestyle I’d fabricated; it was a part of me the way my eyes are brown.

The ground beneath my feet vanished when my terrible choices destroyed all that.