I Lived in the Shadow of Fear

I ran the fraud that landed me in federal prison for two years like a business.

I tracked every transaction with such incredible detail that the FBI agent leading the investigation told me,

“Never in my career have I seen someone keep such meticulous records of their crime. Your spreadsheets are impeccable. You made my job very easy. Thank you.”

Not knowing exactly how to respond, I sheepishly muttered,

“Thank you?”

My fraud was exhausting. There were so many moving parts, and all of them were resting on a bed of lies.

But I loved running it like a business.

My wife at the time had launched a business; I helped her with whatever I could help with. It was amazing watching her step into her own and watching the revenues slowly creep up.

I loved it.

But here’s the thing, I loved both for the wrong reasons.

Sure I enjoyed helping her, but both helping her and running my fraud like a business was the easy way out.

Quite frankly, they were the coward’s way out.

The author Steven Pressfield coined the term “shadow career” in his book “Turning Pro.”