I Turn 50 Today: Here’s The Most Significant Lesson I’ve Learned

I turn 50 today.

I could do one of those “50 Lessons Learned” posts, but I’m not.

Instead, I’ll share one lesson, and it’s the one that’s had the most significant impact on my life.

Pre-prison, I chased everything (money/status/prestige/materialism) I thought would make me accepted by others, feel worthy, and, in turn, happy.

When I chased externals to feel accepted, worthy, and happy, the finish line transformed into a moving target.

It’s the “When I…Then I trap.”

“When I achieve or buy my goal, then I’ll be happy.”

In a life that’s a marathon, I lived in a world of sprints, short-term hits of happiness (really just dopamine), and my life was a constant chase for more.

I was on a treadmill, increasing the speed and incline, thinking I could catch the horizon.

The funny thing about chasing, we move towards something every bit as much as we move away from something.

The more I chased, the more I ran from my true self and who I wanted to be.

I was outsourcing my self-acceptance, self-worth, and happiness to things outside myself.