Life-Changing Power of Gratitude: From Federal Prison to Enlightenment

On September 30th, 2013, I had what many would say was,

“It all.”

A successful career, multiple homes, nice cars, nice watches, I ate at the finest restaurants in Greenwich, CT, and Manhattan. I was married to an amazing woman.

On October 1st, 2013, I lost it all.

Even though I had “it all,” I never thought I did, and what I did have, I didn’t feel worthy of it.

I didn’t feel worthy of my success; I didn’t feel worthy of my amazing wife.

I was chasing anything and everything outside of myself to feel whole.

I was desperately trying to become someone I would respect, like, and love — so that I could be someone people would respect, like, and love.

Chasing, chasing, chasing.

I was on a treadmill, trying to catch the horizon.

The next purchase, the next high, the next extravagant dinner, falling further into the trap of,

“When I obtain “x,” then I’ll be someone.”

It worked until it didn’t. The rush would inevitably fade, and I’d be off to the races again, chasing the next thing, the next high, desperately trying to feel whole. Desperately wanting to…