The Simple Test of Self-Worth: How Well Do You Receive Compliments?

“To say less of yourself than is true is stupidity, not modesty.”

Michel de Montaigne

Here’s a simple test to see if you’re playing small.

Answer this question:

How well do you receive compliments?

How well you receive compliments directly indicates whether or not you are playing small or big — it’s an x-ray of your self-worth.

Here are some of my past examples:

“I could have done better.”

“You nailed that speech; it was amazing.”

“Thanks, but I completely missed an entire section.”

***

“You’re a great writer.”

“Thanks, but it didn’t quite come out how I wanted it to.”

***

There are a few ways to deflect a compliment: Humor, adding “yeah but,” misdirecting, changing the topic, or ignoring it.

You are playing small if you say anything other than “Thank you” when receiving a compliment. You are hiding. You are diminishing yourself.

It feels like the “right” thing to do. Who wants to appear overly cocky? Or arrogant?