Two Years Ago Today My Life Changed

Today is a special day for me.

It’s the two-year anniversary of a goal that took me five years to accomplish.

A goal I set inside a prison cube, smack in the middle of a 24-month sentence. Smack in the middle of suffocating shame and regret.

A goal that was the result of deep inquiry,

“Why did I make the choices I made?”

“Why did I sacrifice so much for so little?”

I stared myself square in the eyes, and I didn’t like what I saw.

I saw a life of taking the easy way; even committing fraud against one of the largest technology companies in the world was the path of least resistance.

I saw a life of lies, of ignoring my calling, of ignoring my heart.

I saw a life of fabricating a version of myself in order to be someone.

I saw that all I truly wanted was to be seen and heard, and I was terrified of being seen and heard.

I lived a life of fear-based choices for which I was now suffering real-world consequences.

I always thought I was moving towards something, but in reality, I was running away from myself.